I Have a Confession to Make {chronicle}

I Have a Confession to Make.  I forget neglect to pray about things beforehand.  On a regular basis.  Oh I pray.  I pray a lot for other people.  But when it comes to my own stuff there’s no one to tell me what I need, or how to pray, and I —

You know what?  all this yammering, when what it boils down to is pride.

 I think I know what to do next so I don’t bother to ask God.

Ever do that?  You are likely a better spiritual role model than this proud girl.  Too proud to ask for help.  Too smart to need it.  Already humble, right!

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Somewhere along the way I came up with the idea that God works through circumstances to direct my life.  He does.  Yes, He does.  Especially when I don’t ask Him what to do and it becomes His business to get me through the mess I’ve created.  Ever have that happen?

I’m not talking about asking Him what brand of bread to buy or how many gallons of milk.  I’m talking big life decisions, like my career, my future mate, and what to do when ends aren’t quite meeting or a big change occurs in my circumstances.

My Bible reading this morning was Psalm 52.  The last two verses talk about three important things: TRUST, PRAISE, WAIT.  The subject is GOD.


 “… I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.  

I will praise thee forever, because thou hast done it;

and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.”  

Psalm 52:8-9

I’ll just give you a minute to re-read that and let it sink in.  It is profound.  No explanation needed.

All right then.

The following directions help me learn how to pray for God’s leading in life decisions:

  1. Find God’s direction for life decisions by spending time reading and memorizing His Word, the Bible.  This is not fast food.  This is a slow process which can’t start moments before the desired outcome.  It needs time.  It should be a lifetime habit, not a quick study like cramming for final exams.
  2. Ask God (multiple times a day, in prayer) for direction, for a clear mind, to remove my self thinking, for focus on His leading.  Not obsessively or out of habit, but genuinely seeking, reminding myself to focus on God’s will.
  3. Pray the prayer that never fails.  ‘Thy will be done.’  Jesus prayed to His Father, ‘not my will, but thine be done’.  He is our example.
  4. Learn to listen to the answer(s).  How often does God tell me the answer and I do it my way instead of His?  Pride would prohibit me from seeing the answer to this question clearly.  I need to learn to listen and obey.

This is not a theological argument or a Bible lesson.  This is what God has been using to bring me down from my pedestal and learn how to follow Him.

You see it isn’t that I rebel against God, or intentionally run away from what He said.  Well, actually it is, but on the inside, not on the outside.

Pride is rebellion.  Pride is sin.  Sin on the inside is just as bad as sin on the outside, though I tell myself it isn’t so.  God sees the heart.

It would appear (aha!) that God’s Word really is true.  That it is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit.  Because really, I haven’t been following any other advice, just reading my Bible and memorizing it, and asking God to lead me and help me to listen.

Why do I try and make something so simple into something complicated?  

Why do I work so hard at what God has promised to, and will,  do?  

Oh why, why, why do I think I know better than God what is best?  (ouch)

I hope I’m the only one struggling with this.  I really do.  I hope you have had this figured out for decades and I am just catching up.

For whatever reason I have felt compelled to write this confession today.  I leave it in the hands of the Almighty to do with as He will.  If it has blessed you in any way (or if you feel like wringing my neck) please leave a comment.

Just thought you should know that just because I post a Bible Reading Schedule and a Bible memorization post (and I follow them, I read and memorize regularly), doesn’t mean I have it all together 🙂

And if you want to pray for me, I am in the midst of some big changes for which I am seeking to follow God’s leading.  More about that another day.




14 thoughts on “I Have a Confession to Make {chronicle}

  1. Norma Beaird says:

    Excellent and timely article. I totally understand and relate to what you’re saying. After graduating from the school of hard knocks a few times, I finally learned to totally seek the Lord’s will in matters where I thought I knew best. Even though I would ask for God’s direction through my life, here is how it happened at times……

    Sometimes, I would pray and seek God, but then I would take matters into my own hands because…….it would have to be the will of God for this or that to happen……it would have to be God’s will to purchase this or invest in that…….it would have to be God’s will to get involved in this or that……..AND THEN, I would learn the truth……the hard way. As my grandmother always told me, “Everything that shines is not gold, and everything that blooms does not smell good!”

    I would learn that I had been deceived. One of the last times this happened to me, I went into some serious prayer time and asked God to give me an abundance of discernment and wisdom. First of all, I asked for God’s forgiveness…..to forgive me for ignoring the red flags.

    I asked for spiritual radar to know when I am actually staring a “red flag” in the face. And, praise the Lord, He has graciously answered my prayer. Now, when I pray, I ask God to give me wisdom and discernment in this decision and to “open doors that need to be opened and to close doors that need to be closed”. This has given me great peace of mind and has saved us from some heartache.

    Being raised in the Pentecostal church, we would talk about praying and having a “check in our spirit”. In other words, there’s that nagging “something” in your heart that tells you that this is not a good decision. And then, when something IS in the will of God, you feel complete and total peace. No reservations. I’ve learned (with God’s guidance and prayer) how to discern this when I have a decision to make.

    I will be praying for you as you make these decisions and also ask that you remember us in prayer. Proverbs 3: 5 – 6

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Constance Ann Morrison says:

    Joyce, I’m praying for you today that your eyes will be open to God’s direction in all things, but particularly in the imminent changes you spoke of. Lord, thank you for Joyce’s persistence and example in Scripture study and memorization. I thank you for her willing heart. Please remind her of the things you have taught her about trusting, praising, and waiting when she needs to hear them.


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