I Have a Confession to Make. I
forget neglect to pray about things beforehand. On a regular basis. Oh I pray. I pray a lot for other people. But when it comes to my own stuff there’s no one to tell me what I need, or how to pray, and I —
You know what? all this yammering, when what it boils down to is pride.
I think I know what to do next so I don’t bother to ask God.
Ever do that? You are likely a better spiritual role model than this proud girl. Too proud to ask for help. Too smart to need it. Already humble, right!
Somewhere along the way I came up with the idea that God works through circumstances to direct my life. He does. Yes, He does. Especially when I don’t ask Him what to do and it becomes His business to get me through the mess I’ve created. Ever have that happen?
I’m not talking about asking Him what brand of bread to buy or how many gallons of milk. I’m talking big life decisions, like my career, my future mate, and what to do when ends aren’t quite meeting or a big change occurs in my circumstances.
My Bible reading this morning was Psalm 52. The last two verses talk about three important things: TRUST, PRAISE, WAIT. The subject is GOD.
TRUST GOD. PRAISE GOD. WAIT FOR GOD.
“… I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.
I will praise thee forever, because thou hast done it;
and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.”
I’ll just give you a minute to re-read that and let it sink in. It is profound. No explanation needed.
All right then.
The following directions help me learn how to pray for God’s leading in life decisions:
- Find God’s direction for life decisions by spending time reading and memorizing His Word, the Bible. This is not fast food. This is a slow process which can’t start moments before the desired outcome. It needs time. It should be a lifetime habit, not a quick study like cramming for final exams.
- Ask God (multiple times a day, in prayer) for direction, for a clear mind, to remove my self thinking, for focus on His leading. Not obsessively or out of habit, but genuinely seeking, reminding myself to focus on God’s will.
- Pray the prayer that never fails. ‘Thy will be done.’ Jesus prayed to His Father, ‘not my will, but thine be done’. He is our example.
- Learn to listen to the answer(s). How often does God tell me the answer and I do it my way instead of His? Pride would prohibit me from seeing the answer to this question clearly. I need to learn to listen and obey.
This is not a theological argument or a Bible lesson. This is what God has been using to bring me down from my pedestal and learn how to follow Him.
You see it isn’t that I rebel against God, or intentionally run away from what He said. Well, actually it is, but on the inside, not on the outside.
Pride is rebellion. Pride is sin. Sin on the inside is just as bad as sin on the outside, though I tell myself it isn’t so. God sees the heart.
It would appear (aha!) that God’s Word really is true. That it is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit. Because really, I haven’t been following any other advice, just reading my Bible and memorizing it, and asking God to lead me and help me to listen.
Why do I try and make something so simple into something complicated?
Why do I work so hard at what God has promised to, and will, do?
Oh why, why, why do I think I know better than God what is best? (ouch)
I hope I’m the only one struggling with this. I really do. I hope you have had this figured out for decades and I am just catching up.
For whatever reason I have felt compelled to write this confession today. I leave it in the hands of the Almighty to do with as He will. If it has blessed you in any way (or if you feel like wringing my neck) please leave a comment.
Just thought you should know that just because I post a Bible Reading Schedule and a Bible memorization post (and I follow them, I read and memorize regularly), doesn’t mean I have it all together 🙂
And if you want to pray for me, I am in the midst of some big changes for which I am seeking to follow God’s leading. More about that another day.