The nurse called me this afternoon from the nursing home where my mother is spending her last years. It is the first time she has called. She is nearing the end. A matter of two or three days Becky thinks. She has seen the signs before.
I thought about writing this as a Guest Post, using a fictitious friend to tell my story. I thought it would be easier. Nothing about losing my mother is easy. I decided to tell it straight.
I want to write this now, before I enter the passage of time While We Are Apart , both my mother and I, and my readers and I if this blog is quiet for awhile. I honestly don’t know which will be harder, before or after. My cousin has told me that I will grieve twice for my mother who was taken from me by dementia. I have been grieving a long time already.
Of course I went to see for myself.
My mother was in her chair, which reclines, sleeping. She roused when the nurse called her name loudly, and responded. I don’t remember if she said anything in particular. She is on oxygen, but otherwise pretty much the same. Her hair had been curled beautifully. She looked quite good.
But she couldn’t focus her eyes on me. She gripped my hand and slowly drifted back to sleep.
Once again I’ve said my good-byes. To some it appears that I imagine her loosening grip on life, as it has occurred more than once before. I don’t think so. For whatever reason she has hung on this long time, what reason God has seen to extend her years, I do not know.
But I do know that she will be in His Presence when she leaves mine. And I do know that I will see her once again someday. But for this time While We Are Apart I will continue to trust in God to Whom she introduced me over half a century ago.
If you want to know more, read on. When I was getting ready to visit today, this is what came to my mind. Seven years ago this past July both of my parents fell and hit their head. My parents have been divorced for many years. I was to learn what happened to my father much later. But it was on or near the same day in July 2007.
My father went into a coma, never to awaken. Because of an error he was put on life support. When the court finally gave the order to remove life support, he died on October 1, 2007.
My mother recovered from her head wound, but was never able to care for herself successfully after that. Eventually she became a permanent resident in the nursing home, much to her displeasure, to put it mildly.
Again, I do not know why our heavenly Father allows things to be as they are, except that they might bring glory to Himself. The verses I am memorizing in 2 Corinthians speak of this, in particular my favorite verse (4:7), which is at the head of my blog.
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
2 Cor. 4:7-10
Now if it is quiet here for a time, you know why. Two posts are written and scheduled to post. Thank you for your patience with me during this time. I don’t want you to think I have abandoned ship.