It’s Not About Food {wait watching}

I have a confession to make.  I am human.  I know that comes as no surprise to some of you, but some of you don’t know me very well {yet}.  Time to come clean.

This is about food.  Not a topic I want to blog about.  But it is bothering me, and the way to work it out is to write about it.  So here goes…

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I don’t know when the problem started but it got in the way about ten years ago or so.  My blood sugar would get too low frequently, and I became borderline diabetic.  That’s the short of it.  My son recommended a book to me and a program which I followed in 2007.  That was the beginning of life without sugar.  Most of the time.

But that did not solve the problem of my blood sugar levels.  I lost a good bit of weight, got my glucose levels away from the pre-diabetes level, lowered my cholesterol, exercised, and felt great.  For awhile.

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Until I discovered that I was still consuming dairy products when I knew I was lactose intolerant.  So I cut out all dairy.  But I don’t stick to it like I should.  {cutting out sugar works great — no sugar, no cravings; not so with dairy}

Then I read about wheat causing inflammation (among other foods and other ailments).  So I cut out wheat for awhile.  And I felt better.  But I love bread.  And I don’t love bread made with nut flours and seeds.  And I don’t function well when I don’t have something that I love.


I can go without X number of things that I love, but not all of them.  And I am prone to addictive behavior.  And not perfectly disciplined in what I put into my mouth.  {which makes me human.}

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

So I struggle.  And I struggle with the fact that I struggle.  Because I think that my relationship with God should automatically infuse me with the discipline to conquer this struggle.  But the fact of the matter is that I don’t even know what the solution is, let alone reach it.

I haven’t found the perfect diet.  There isn’t a perfect diet.  Maybe there is one that’s perfect for me.  But I have to work hard at figuring out what that is, and I don’t want to.  That takes discipline too.

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Today I went to Barnes and Noble to look at a Dr. Mark Hyman’s Blood Sugar Solution Cookbook.  It’s pricey.  I looked all the way through it.  If I follow his plan I give up cheese and most grains {flour}.  I already sort of follow his basic plan.

  •  I use the oil he says, no butter.
  •  I eat fish and lean chicken.
  •  I cut out the fatty cuts of meat;  I eat sirloin about once a week.
  •  I cut back on my eggs.
  •  I eat lots of fresh vegetables.
  •  I eat fruit {Dr. Hyman says not so much}
  •  I still eat cheese and bread (some times)

I don’t lose weight when I follow the plan.  But my blood sugar is steady.  But I crave things I shouldn’t.  Ice cream.  Today I had Bugles.  Last week it was something else.  I feel like I’m going around in circles.

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My flesh wants to eat whatever I want to eat {who doesn’t?}.  My pride wants to starve myself.  My brain wants to figure this out and write my own perfect diet, and publish my own cookbook.

Yet I don’t think any of those are the solution.

I think that I need to neither give up and eat whatever I want nor make this the center of life.  

I think that I need to make Christ the center, and do the things He has for me to do {writing being one of them}, and WAIT.  

I think that I need to enter each day as a new day, with a plan for that day that includes recognizing God’s mercy upon me.  

I think that I need to continue submitting my day to Him, and myself to doing His will, and stop expecting magic to happen.  

And I think that I need to show mercy to myself at the end of the day.

Why do I judge myself?  God doesn’t.  He shows mercy.  He loves unconditionally.  He looks upon the heart.  What I do in the physical realm is a reflection of my heart.  I need to focus on where my heart is, and trust God with the rest.  He has not promised physical blessings.  He has promised eternal ones.

How do you deal with your daily physical frustrations?  I know I am not alone in this.  And I suspect this will be an ongoing process on the journey.  I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of waiting on God.



4 thoughts on “It’s Not About Food {wait watching}

  1. eswatniki says:

    Waiting is so very hard in this instant society. I am always hurrying, running to get to the finish, pell mell full steam ahead. lately the Lord has been putting the phrase “enjoy the journey” in front of me and I think that is a lot like “Wait on the Lord”. Not exact of course but similar in required behavior.


  2. Karen says:

    Hi Joyce, you express a lot of my own frustrations very well 🙂 I struggle with pride and food too. And I’m diabetic. One thing that comes to me in terms of food is 1 Timothy 4:3-4. God created it all to be received with thanksgiving (natural foods at least). This stood out to me since certain diets or ways of eating prohibit certain foods entirely.

    I am just doing what you’re doing, endeavoring to look to Him each day and walk in His mercy and grace. My pastor was just preaching about how we need to humble ourselves and believe God more. And not look at circumstances or our feelings or whatever, but humble ourselves and look to God and believe.

    I like what you wrote, “What I do in the physical realm is a reflection of my heart. I need to focus on where my heart is, and trust God with the rest.” Thank you for being so open with your struggles.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thesilverofhisfining says:

      Hi Karen, Thank you for your comment. I had to re-read the post to see what I said! I should write an update to this post because I quickly gained a bit of weight in 2014 which I have managed to lose in 2015 — by cutting out sugar, dairy,wheat and processed foods :). The best part is that I have fewer cravings and I am able to imagine eating like this for the rest of my life. (and my blood sugar is steady)

      The food aside, because it is not (I agree) about food, I thank you for pointing out that bit about the heart. And you are welcome. It is not easy to talk about because there is shame involved, shame in not having gotten a handle on this a long time ago. Our culture is more ingrained in our thinking than God’s words. That is where we should feel shame. (finger pointing at myself)

      Your pastor is a wise man. It’s not all about circumstances. It’s all about God. We rob ourselves of so much by not spending time with Him. Thanks, Karen, for your words of encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

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